Friday Evening

Sped out of work as early as possible and headed to Westchester, PA to pick up MsKB. She was ready to go, and after printing out the maps to pjsaeli’s place, we hit the road. We were lucky that we didn’t hit much traffic and we had a mission. To not get lost finding pjsaeli’s place of residence. We succeeded with flying colors due to the amazing teamwork of pilot and co-pilot. We proceeded to spend the next 45 minutes trying to find parking in DC. Soon enough, we were off on foot to find pjsaeli, who was still at work. Not a problem…he works at a restaurant and they serve beer. Mtbackpacker called and ended up being our navigator by looking up the restaurant, checking directions and telling us how to get there. Ahhhh modern technology.

We found pjsaeli easily and after a quick greeting (he and Katie already knew each other from Glacier last summer), Katie and I sat down at the bar for dinner & drinks. When Phil was done working, we headed back to his place to drop our stuff off before hitting the town. We had planned on an early departure to Old Rag. He took us to a great bar in DC where we proceeded to have a few beers, a shot of Patron tequila, and a few more beers. The live jazz music was amazing, Katie got hit on by a cabana boy and we had lots of serious conversations about things such as Rick James and Bic lighters. We stopped for falafel on the way home (NO SOUP FOR YOU!), text messaged Monty about 45 times apiece, called each other “B*TCH” every 2 seconds, compared bear spray to Bic lighters and finally crashed around 4:30am. Phil said “set the alarm for 7:30am”. Ugh….

Saturday

The alarm went off at 7:30am. Kate and I were sacked out on the floor and made no attempt to move. My body actually was aching a bit from the insane amounts of laughter that we had shared the night before. Phil got up and was kind enough to brew some coffee in the backpacking coffee pot. All of our heads were a little fuzzy, in fact, I think Kate claimed the backseat of my car so she could catch some Z’s on the way to Old Rag. We headed out around 9am and with Phil playing co-pilot, reached the Parking area around 11:15am. He picked up our permits from the ranger and told him that we were practicing for Banff in August. Rather than hike ½ mile up the road to the trailhead, we drove up and got lucky to find a solitary parking spot left just for us. Suckers.

The weather was amazing and the sky had cleared up. We knew we were in for a warm sunny day on the trail. As we got ready to hike, we noticed swarms of butterflies basking by one of the rocks. Not sure what they were up to but they were really beautiful to watch. One family headed up the trail ahead of us, armed with nothing but plastic bags from Safeway ~ I guess it’s the latest thing in ultralight.

Once underway, the ascent was immediate. The trail is wide and while a little bit rocky, it was smooth sailing. The first 3 ½ miles is just a steady climb, mostly up switchbacks, something that folks in PA don’t see to often. The forest was a beautiful sight with the deep green colors and the boulders scattered throughout. The steady climb and the suddenly hot weather had us sweaty and stinky in no time. At 1:00pm, we stopped and grabbed a bite to eat. Turns out the Safeway family was there as well…so we shared lunch space with them for awhile. Kate broke out her Wheat Thins, Phil had a Snickers bar and I dove into my Apple Cinnamon pop tarts. I’m so glad we fueled up because we had no idea what lay ahead.

After the break, we headed on up the trail. About 50’ up we reached a rocky landing where we could see the summit of Old Rag. Oh man…it looked far away and difficult. At this point, Phil suggested we put away our trekking poles and get ready to start the scrambling. There they were. Rocks like no rock I have ever seen before. The first scramble involved hoisting ourselves onto a boulder and laying on our stomachs to crawl under the overhang. As Katie made her way underneath, Phil shouted words of encouragement like “CRAWL TO ME, B***H!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” Wasn’t that sweet?

We encountered a slightly older couple that was coming down from the summit. They asked if we had ever done the hike before and while neither Kate nor I had, Phil has been up there several times. The wife made one comment “Then I guess you know what you are getting yourselves into”. <insert sharp looks at Phil here> We nodded cautiously and went onward. The next mile was like nothing Kate or I had ever experienced before. Phil took the lead, and in the difficult passes, showed us the best way to navigate them. We found ourselves crawling up some, sliding down others, squeezing through narrow passages. We jumped over deep crevasses, lowered ourselves into others by stabilizing with one foot on a wall and our arm on the other, finding whatever footing we could. The views were breathtaking to say the least though at times the scrambles were unnerving. We were on the very edge of hundred foot drops so many times. Phil would say “stay close to this rock because on the right, you have death”.

Our adrenaline was flowing fast and strong and all three of us worked together over the more difficult portions. The rock formations were beautiful, but finding a way around or up them was difficult at times. Kate and I straddled rocks and slithered up boulders with Phil’s constant encouragement “HUMP THE ROCK! THERE IS NO ROOM FOR MODESTY OUT HERE!” Which of course brought about more fits of laughter, doing nothing for our concentration.

There was one passage in particular that was very difficult. It was straight up and there were two points that you had to scramble. I said “Oh my God” and shortly after Kate said “Holy crap!!! This BLOWS!!!” It looked impossibly steep and just…well…impossible. There was very little to grab onto and very little space to maneuver. Phil went up the first one and I handed him my pack. I was able to squeeze around the first one by raising my right leg and wrapping it around the rock, then sliding my back against one side and using the pressure of both to pull myself up. Kate followed suit and did the same. All three of us stood in a small 3’ diameter area needing to get up the next one, much more difficult. Phil again led the way. We handed him all of our packs and he put them further up so we didn’t have to worry about them. There was a place to put one foot where we stood, the slippery rock provided no traction but about 3 ½ feet up was another small piece that jutted out. I stretched as much as possible to get my right foot onto that one point. Once I did that, it became more difficult to reach the only grip on the rock. Again, I pressed my body into the side of the rock and Phil offered a hand. My legs were stretched too much to be able to give myself enough momentum to jump up and reach for the grip. With Phil’s help, I made it to where he was. Kate came up right after me and after negotiating on how to do it, she stunned us all. We don’t know what she did but Phil said “I’ve never seen that before”. She somehow managed to get both of her knees up the rocks and pull herself through the one foot space by using her hip and pressure from her knees. We think? She doesn’t even know. When she got up to us, she commented “I think I found my calling”. Indeed!

The rest of the scramble was very moderate compared to that one. We had one more “jump” over a deep crevasse. You miss, you are going to be in a lot of pain. It was a little more difficult than it looked, so once Phil was over, he offered a hand to me and I jumped. I offered a hand to Kate, and she jumped. Then, we helped two women that we had just passed.

After an eternity of false summits, we finally made it to the real summit of Old Rag. The 360 degree views of the Blue Ridge and SNP was incredible. We found a nice rock to sit and relax on, drinking down some water and having more snacks. Phil’s 680 calorie candy bar was pretty well deserved at that point! We were sitting in silence (for once) and a bird flew overhead (about 20’ above). For a moment, as we looked out on the spectacular view, the only thing we could hear was the soft “foop foop foop” of the bird’s wings. After about 10 seconds, he began gliding and Kate said quite simply “Wow…that was cool.” We sat for a bit longer, laughing and discussing the climb. We decided that now, Old Rag is OUR b*tch!!!

An hour or so on the summit and we decided to head back to the car. Phil had determined ahead of time that we were taking a trail down the back of the mountain to return. This way, we would not have to go down through the boulder scrambles, something that he had never done and something neither Kate nor I were eager to do anyway. It was a nice 5 mile hike back to the trailhead. The first 3 miles were steady on switchbacks and the last 2 miles was a fire road. We saw no bears! But there was a scary beast in the woods along the fire road…I heard it jumping in the leaves.

At the trailhead, we chatted briefly with a gentleman that does SAR on Old Rag. We got directions to a restaurant called Pigs ‘n Steak and headed out for dinner. We chowed down on fried pickles, fried black olives with cheese and salad. Kate had pork bbq while Phil and I both had grilled chicken. Stuffed and tired, we got back in the car and headed back to DC. Around 10pm we got back and showered up. Kate crashed immediately on the floor so Phil and I decided to head out for a couple of beers. Right before going to bed, we checked out some canoe maps in the ADK’s and fell asleep dreaming of trips to come.

Sunday

Phil got up, showered, said his goodbyes and was off to work. Kate and I packed up our stuff, stopped for coffee and hit the road. This was a truly amazing hike. I have never done anything like it before but would love to do more! It was challenging both physically and mentally. It was fun to figure out how to negotiate some of the scrambles and it brought out the best in all of us. Phil, Kate and I worked as a team on many of them and it was a great bonding experience on many levels. Though my shoulders are a bit sore from the scrambling, I think my insides are sorer from all of the laughing. I can’t wait to get to Banff with these two and Monty!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Phil!!! You B*TCH!!!

What I learned:

~ Bic lighters are an acceptable unit of measurement.

~ When you send 45 text messages to someone, they may only get three. Right, Monty?

~ Do you know who I am??? I’m Rick James, B*TCH!!! I’m gonna have me a Samuel Jackson!!!

~ Phil is just as perverse in person as he is on the boards. I’m still determining the metrosexual factor.

~ There is no f’ing parking in DC. And you can’t order it either.

~ Fried dill pickles are pretty damn good.

~ They have singing deer heads in restaurants in VA

~ Hiking + rock scrambling + hot sun – air conditioner = FUNK

~ Banff is going to be great.

~ Backpackers can be extroverts.

~ Patron tequila is pricey but sooooo worth it.

~ Don’t touch someone else’s Falafel (that’s not yours!) and don’t lean on Porsche SUV’s.

~ Phil isn’t really sure how far it is, where it is, or how long it will take to get there. Ever.

~ Kate is the best damn co-pilot EVER! Lost shmost…I don’t think so.

~ Kate, Phil & I are bad enough on our own…add Monty to the mix and there’s gonna be trouble.

~ Phil’s an enabler.

~ PA Rocks are nothing. Kate and I now laugh in the face of those mere pebbles. HA HA HA!

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